Giving Tuesday!!

An Invitation to Join the Giving Tuesday Movement!

Black Friday. Small Business Saturday. Cyber Monday. What’s next? Fire-sale Sunday? It seems like every year there’s a new “specially designated” day to promote Christmas spending.

I want to introduce a wonderful new day to focus upon.  Check out the growing “Giving Tuesday” movement (yes, yet another new day, but this one with a higher purpose).  Awesome!!

It’s the philanthropic community’s response to the consumerism of Black Friday and Cyber Monday and is designed to provide people with a charitable day to consider giving as they go into the holiday season.

(Learn more at www.givingtuesday.org.)


Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!  Even when life is tough - we all have much to be thankful for.  

What new tradition can you start this year that gives light to thankfulness that goes beyond turkey and football?

Real Superpower

A REAL Superpower

Have you done something that you regretted?  Perhaps you made a really bad decision and wronged someone - maybe even a friend or a family member.  I sure have and it seems to be almost unavoidable despite our best intentions doesn't it?

When we all trip, fall or outright fail we can carry that with us, this failure - like a ball and chain.

As a father of three young children, I am a constant witness to things getting broken, an outburst of rage and yes, even lying from my little ones.  As inspector general and law enforcement officer of my home it is my duty to bring these failings to light so as to avoid another bruise, hurt feeling or broken lamp...and I do.

So what about us, us adults?  We operate in a world where the propensity for making mistakes and hurting others is higher and carries greater consequences.  


What do we do when we are wronged or when we wrong others?  

Driving down to Boston is almost a guarantee that we'll encounter someone cutting us off, providing us an undesired hand communication, or simply scaring us half to death.  How do we handle that?

At work, at home, or even at church, we get our feelings hurt or perhaps become offended, don't we?  As sure as the weather will change in New England every 5 minutes, these things happen.  

The question then becomes how do we deal with this offense when we make it, or someone does to us?  There are only two ways.

One way to handle a situation when someone wrongs us is to become upset and hold a good old Yankee-style grudge, and carry that to the grave.  Or, if we screw-up, we don't admit it, own-up and certainly don't apologize for it. We just plod ahead.    

The problem with this is it creates ongoing friction, shame, resentment and guilt.  

The other day I witnessed one of my boys smacking the other pretty hard.  So sheriff Jeff ran in to arrest and scold this hooligan.  In that moment I had my pointer finger in the air, and my mouth was just opening to let him have it—then it hit me, how is he different than me? What about that morning when I really screwed-up and asked for God's forgiveness and grace?  Don't my kids, our workmates, or spouses deserve the same?  Yes they do, and it is one of the hardest gifts to give. Isn't it?

Jesus tells us that all we need to do is ask for His forgiveness, admit our failing, repent and we are forgiven.  If you have ever done just that in prayer you know, no you feel his grace poured upon you.  It sets you free.  No shackle, no ball and chain, but love and forgiveness.

John Newton the author of the song Amazing Grace, was himself quite the wretched man indeed.  

He mistreated slaves and was an all around miserable being.  A very long story short, this man admitted all his failings and turned from his ways.  He gave himself to the mercy of Jesus, asked for forgiveness, and he was forgiven, and more.  The magnitude of grace he felt was overwhelming.  Grace changed this man.  His life and conversion and his works became an iconic demonstration of grace and forgiveness.  

Grace, forgiveness set this man free.

So as I ran into the room looking to scold, I hesitated, and instead extended grace to my little boy. I didn't raise my voice, I didn't spank, I didn't scold - I extended grace.  I allowed him to understand why what he did was wrong, in a gentle way. Honestly, I cant remember if he apologized or not, but I forgave him all the same. He was acting-out like he was Captain America, albeit a bad one, but Dad had the real Superpowers at that moment.

Perhaps one of the best gifts we can bring to this world is a bit of understanding and compassion.  Maybe we admit our failures before the recipient even knows what happened.  Perhaps we forgive even when it's so very hard.  If Jesus taught us anything, it was grace.

When Jesus was witness to men of the local authority ready to stone a woman for adultery and brought her to the feet of Jesus they looked to him for his opinion.  Not only did he extend her grace, he taught them to do the same.  Hopefully at least one of them learned from it.

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7 - NIV

Even at the very last moments of His life, after Jesus was brutally beaten and nailed to a cross to die - he extended his grace to his persecutors.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing”. Luke 23:34 - NIV

     

It doesn't cost a thing.

It will bring you release from either anger or guilt.

Take a baby-step today to give a little grace and see what happens.

It is probably the best use of stewardship there might be - what a gift.

Does ownership matter?

I am blessed to have the best neighbors that one could hope to have.

They are wonderful and amazing people.  When my John Deere lawn tractor decided to no longer run recently, I sheepishly asked them if it would be alright if I borrowed their mower for the day.  Not only did they let me use their riding lawn mower, I found it parked in my driveway later that week with the instructions to "be it's new caretaker" for them.  If they need it they will use it and I'll be the maintenance man (I love fixing things).  How do you suppose that I'll take care of their mower?

So what is the difference in having possession of their mower over mine?  

Could the answer be: "it's there's - not yours - so you need to take really good care of it."  

That could just be my father whispering in my ear.  Dad reminded me often: "Always return it in better shape than when you borrowed it."

From when we first borrowed our parents car to when we may have had the opportunity to use our neighbor's lake house - most people feel a real responsibility, an obligation perhaps to care for what is being borrowed and to do so - very well.

Something that is borrowed or left in our care deserves our respect, appreciation and care.

Why do some Christians give to the needy, sponsor an orphan or even tithe?  I suppose that there may be some that do so out of a sense of obligation or even guilt - I sure hope not.  However the majority give back out of love and appreciation and do so with a joyful heart.  I have written plenty on the topic of giving and if you were to look through the blog and you will see plenty on this subject. For today however, I want to focus on the part that's not given back to God - the leftovers. Who owns that?  Do You?  Does it matter?

Christians believe that God created everything.  Genesis 1:26-1:28 speaks to how God created the world and everything in it and states His will that we have dominion over all things.  From beginning to end, Scripture emphasizes God's ownership of everything.  You could spend a lifetime searching Scripture and never find a verse that suggests that God has ever surrendered his ownership to us.  God owns it all, we are just borrowing it.  We are his caretakers.

The giving of 10% of your earnings back to God was a truly wonderful thing, but he owns the other 90% too.  When you believe that God owns it all - that understanding has huge impact.

Do we treat everything that we have, everything, as if it doesn't belong to us, but rather we are just the caretaker?  Did I treat my own mower as well as I am treating the one lent to me?  Do I care for my finances as if I were managing God's money?

How would our lives change, at all, if we deeply believed that God really owns everything?  What if all that we have - are "blessings from God", specifically given to each one of us to manage to be a blessing for others?  Wrap your mind around that, when I did I became so incredibly humbled and liable.  Every financial decision is a spiritual one now.  I am - managing God's money for myself and others.

____________________________________________

Here is the next big question:  In addition to your possessions, what if your life doesn't even belong to you?

Do you live as though your life is yours or as if it belongs to God and you are simply taking care of it for him?  I'll give you a moment...

Often times we hear that time, talent and treasure are the components of biblical stewardship.  You may be the world's best giver of money, but how are you giving your talent, skills or even love?  How are you using the time he has given you?  How are you treating the body he gave you?  How are we caring for the children he is having us raise?  Do you think that I am taking this too far?  God doesn't.

God not only owns everything - all of our possessions, but our lives as well.  "You are not your own; you were bought at a price."  
- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.  

When I finally understood these biblical truths and commands regarding true ownership, I did little with it, and it didn't take long before I was soon very much reminded just how much I depend on Him.  He has a not so subtle way of waking me up.  I never really understood: Psalm 111:10 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  I certainly do now.  Truly the Lord does both give and takeaway.

If you allow yourself the opportunity to awaken to the fact that God owns it all and you steward His resources as if borrowed property - your life is about to experience blessings like never before.  By the way - you cannot out-give  God!  Don't believe me - try it!  God even says "test Me."  Malachi 3:10

God owns it all and he owns our abilities, actions, bodies, decisions, time, possessions - all of us lock stock and barrel.  

____________________________________________

Why should you be the best steward today that you can be?  God wants our hearts and how we use his possessions and our lives demonstrates our appreciation, reverence and love for him. 

A man went to visit the caretaker of a very large estate in the country with an absentee owner.  Noticing how meticulously the caretaker performed every chore, the visitor asked him "When do you expect the owner to return?"  The caretaker's reply: "Today, of course."  The caretaker did not know when to expect the owner and either do we.  We can however live like he will be coming home today and then he will find his estate in us pleasing to Him.

I don't know when my neighbor will be by to collect the lawn mower. I do know that the oil was recently changed and it's full of gas. Maybe I'll go and mow their lawn this afternoon.

Who you are - Not just what do you do

Getting Real.

Imagine in your mind's eye that you're at a cocktail party and you are introduced to...let's say me.  We begin to talk a little and you ask me what I do for a living. Let's say that I respond with "I am a financial advisor."  If I told you that, I would be leaving you to discern what it is that I actually do for a living and also what sort of person I am.

Most people relate to a "financial advisor" as one that sells and manages investments.  Is that all I do?  Is that who I am?  No, not even close.  

How are people understanding who you are and how you're unique?

The world has enough financial advisors, financial planners, wealth managers, estate planners, 401(k) specialists, business benefits advisors, insurance agents etc.  My clients chose me because of me, not just for the fact that I am all those professionals mentioned and more.  

Of course: professional competency is crucial for not only your success but for your employer and customers.  I am suggesting that you let people know both sides - be authentic.   

“Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable,

be honest and transparent anyway.” - Mother Teresa

When you talk to people about yourself - be real, show them who you really are and what you care about.  Show them you!  Ask them to tell you their story which will give you permission to tell them yours.  One caveat - really listen and care.  

I chose my auto mechanic and mortgage professional because I saw who they really were - not just what they did.  Could someone have fixed my cars or obtained a mortgage for me just as well - perhaps.  I just know that I chose them, because of them.  And because of them - I am sticking with them!

If I was about to entrust my life savings with an investment professional, I'd rather know her well, rather than simply rely on my opinion of her car, house, job title or status (think Bernie Madoff).

I chose my career path because I truly want to help people live fulfilling lives and leave lasting legacies.  I want to see people enjoy and get the most out of life.  I work hard so my clients don't have to worry.  I instill peace-of-mind in my clients.  


I leave you with this.  This is a paragraph taken from a document of mine called my PoD.  This document was very difficult to create.  It reminds me daily of who I am, who I aspire to be, to whom I give credit and to those I serve.  I read it each morning and listen to the audio recording of it every night.  I'm sharing it (albeit scared to death) so that hopefully one day you'll share yours.    

"...I am a modern day knight making eternal and impactful changes in people’s lives being in tireless service to God creating and enriching relationships wherever I go. I bring both financial and relational hope and peace of mind to all of whom God calls on me to serve..."

Now it's your turn.

The Life / Purpose Correlation

Seeking balance - Living on purpose

As many of us are somewhere on the path to achieving success and taking special efforts to define our goals, vision and hopefully purpose, are we being shortsighted?  

Let me ask...What does your life look like when you are there?  What happened along the way to getting there?  Was it a race or a journey? What affect on others did you have?  

Everything that we do or don’t do in life comes down to making choices - one thing over another or one thing over countless alternatives.  How do we know that each decision is best for us?  How do we measure our decisions along the way – everyday?  Do we even measure, take stock or spend time in reflection?

Most of my colleagues and friends are entrenched these days in some part of the process of self-improvement.  Many are executives and business owners striving for success.  Thankfully, many of these people are intent upon defining or living-out their well-defined vision and purpose in life.  Purpose, that’s what it all boils down to.

I write and teach about things relating to financial planning, investing and stewardship.  My profession, especially from the standpoint of being a Qualified Kingdom Advisor, allows me the opportunity of learning about people’s hopes, dreams, and aspirations as well as what they fear and what they wish to avoid.  People seek my advice and management regarding financial planning, investing, insurance etc.  Sometimes what they receive in return goes far beyond what they had expected, perhaps more than simply rolling over that old 401(k) plan.

In my book that I hope will be published soon, I speak about the common disconnect from our core values (Who we truly are and what we really care about) from the way in which we live our lives and manage our possessions (time, talents, abilities, money).  It is precisely at this point in which I could write a novel for you now, however for your sake – I will restrain myself.

The point that I am hoping to make today is this:  I suggest that we all conduct a self-assessment to discover if who we really are is being 100% reflected by how we live and how we use our gifts.  If there is not 100% correlation, then perhaps we are holding back greater achievements and greater good.

Here is a great FREE online resource that you can use right now to see if you are living your purpose and if not - what it might just be:

As we seek to find and live our purpose, ensure that you maintain balance in your life.  Many remarkable people have amassed incredible success and fortunes only to realize late in life that despite their massive achievements, what  they had become - is not who they truly “are.”

One question that I often will ask my clients is this: 

"If money were no longer a concern and you no longer had to work - what would you do with your life?"  You slowly begin to free your mind to focus in on what you indeed would truly like to do with your remaining years.  What would bring you happiness beyond measure?  Find that and you are one step closer to finding your purpose.

Most likely, you do still have to work - just like me.  Hopefully it is something that is fulfilling for you.  If not, do your best your very best.

Here's the trick - you've identified your purpose, now is there a way to involve that in your life right now is some capacity?  I bet you there is.  And I bet you that if you align your "entire life" around that, you will be far happier than you have ever been. Moreover, you will notice that the way in which you "steward" all your gifts will now be more intentional, less about immediate gratification and more towards something that will bring you and others immeasurable joy.

Here is a clip from my friends at Generous Giving (www.generousgiving.org). This is a prime example of a successful superstar that did and had it all only to find himself empty at the finish line.  It is however another new and different sort of success story in the end.  Once he recognized that there was more to life than what he had known, he turned his world on its head and made a huge impact on himself and others.

Here is a book, make that an amazing book that will change your life, but only if you are willing to be and live and authentic life.  Borrow mine, get it at the library, but just get it and read it!

Please send me your comments as you go along.  The later half of the book is really what made a huge impact in my own life.

Make your life a story that one day you will want to read to your grandchildren ;)
Here is a piece I use with my clients to help facilitate the dialogue of finding balance in life.  In that conversation defining purpose and exercising good stewardship are intentional results we aim to discover and plan for.

Finding your balanced life

Financial Planning to find your Balanced Life

Goal setting can be challenging.  First start with prayer.  Spend time alone with God to find out what He wants you to do or accomplish in the future.  Then record your goals by writing them down in clearly defined and measurable terms.

Goals are based on faith and following God's leading, not on past accomplishments or current resources when planning with Christian faith.  There are certainly other ways, but for me - it is my way.  Acknowledge that He may want to do a "new thing" in your life and that He can "do exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we ask or think."

"The mind of a man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." - Proverbs 16:9

...Finding Balance

THE BALANCED LIFE

Our challenge is to maintain balance in the various areas of life.  Often we get out of balance in our vocation, striving to produce more wealth (financial capital) to pass on in our estate and to our heirs.

FINANCIAL PLANNING

Financial planning allows us to step-back and assess our God-given goals and priorities, ultimately managing our finances in a manner that relieves financial pressure and provides peace of mind.

LIFE IMPACT

By balancing our lives through financial planning, we are able to "buy" time to develop social and spiritual capital in our heirs.

This is how I help people.  Define your finish line and Find your balance!

My Strategy For Giving Away Millions

I just came across this article that really spoke to me.  As mentioned in my post "The Paradox of Prosperity," I have seen such abounding joy from those that change from hoarding their money to giving it.  

“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” ~ Mother Teresa

Here is the article:  Give it a Peek!

How to truly succeed in your business and personal life

How to truly succeed in your business and personal Life

 When most people hear the word "Stewardship" especially in the context of Christianity, what normally comes to mind is the giving of Time, Talent and Treasure. That is by biblical definition correct. However I wanted to discuss a "subgroup" if you will. That is seeking to help others first in all you do.  

Guess what...in doing so you attain success in your business and personal life like never before.  You will be someone that people will trust and want to be around.

Today I attended a workshop hosted by a business coach. The range of what he shared was vast with some seasoned concepts, but mostly new and intriguing ones. On the merit of substance alone he was insightful, relevant and exceptional. However, what I believe had the greatest impact on his audience was not his concepts or wisdom - no it was something much deeper.

The speaker ended his talk by answering questions from the audience. The audience was attempting to understand his value and differentiation before they considered breaking-out the checkbook. Who can blame the audience, so-called business coaches are as common as lawyers these days. They all claim to have the latest techniques and the promise of soon to be amassed fortunes for their clients. 

After playing verbal ping-pong with the audience for a while, the speaker came right out with it "why he is different." In a heartfelt and honest manner he explained how it is his life's purpose to do everything he can for his clients and friends, selflessly and with love. Yeah he said love and a few times.  Actually the man exuded it.  You just had a sense that this man would take your call at 10 pm at night earnestly wanting to help.  He could have spoken for hours about why his process is the best while hoping to sway a few, but he didn't have to.  His sincerity, compassion, passion and love for what he does were more than enough.  He succeeded through his testimony of serving others. 

As we steward our God-given gifts focusing on the giving or time, talent and treasure the biblical command is to do so with joy. A joyful giver. Actually one biblical scholar stated the truest translation of this command is to be a "hilarious giver".  That sounds rather happy!

We can all think of at least one person that everyone seems to gravitate to; you know that really nice guy or sweet woman. The sort of person that you might say "would give the shirt off his back" or "she would do anything for you." I'm lucky enough to have neighbors like that. This selfless nature, that is, seeking to help others foremost, isn't exactly intuitive for most of us.  However it will not only be the practice of good stewardship (time, talent & treasure), but it can cause a radical improvement in your life and those that you share it with.  

If you want to foster new friends, grow your business, have a positive impact at home or in the workplace - would you consider not looking at what's in it for you, but how you can help? In everything that you do, if you should seek to help first, your chances of getting what you had hoped for initially are increased greatly. One caveat however, - don't simply give just to receive - give with love.  

Want to truly succeed in every aspect of your life?  Are you ready to put yourself out there?  Are you ready to establish a new paradigm of selfless love towards others?  If you are - success in your life, no matter how you define it - will be realized.

I dare you to take a chance and try to implement this in your life. How about tomorrow? Perhaps you could return your neighbors trashcans to their house from the curb, call someone just to see how "they" are doing or simply letting someone know that you really appreciate their friendship or business. Seek nothing in return, but only to bring a little ray of sunshine into their life during these snowy days. I promise you - you will be rewarded.

Need some ideas or motivation?  Please check out www.ilikegiving.com!
It's an amazing website demonstrating selfless and impacting giving.

In case you missed a prior definition of it in the past:  biblical stewardship is the use of our God-given gifts for God-given uses. The call to love our neighbor as we love ourselves was of utmost importance to Jesus in our lives. In all that we do - everything, let's do it in service of others first.

"Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection,* and take delight in honoring each other."

Romans 12:9-10, NLT